Before You Say Hello, Say I Love You

July 8, 2011

When I was in my 20s, I glimpsed the truth that we all wear the face of Christ in a unique way and that what we do unto anyone else we literally do unto ourselves. I’ve spent the rest of my life trying to remember that. Here are three things that help make it a habit.

  1. The Supermarket Check. When standing in line at the checkout I remind myself that the individual in front of me is Christ and that the injunction to love her as I love myself is literally true. A little miracle happens: I not only love her, but like her, and if her credit card is no good or her kohlrabi doesn’t register, I don’t get mad. By the time it is my turn to chat with the dark-eyed checkout girl from Nicaragua, I am madly in love.
  2. The Office Visit. Despite a life of good intentions, workers who busted into my office with problems when I was busy doing my own work used to tax my patience. I mentioned this to Henri Nouwen, who said, “Those people are your work.” I never forgot that.
  3. The Phone Call. I told myself a long time ago to pause a moment before picking up the phone and remember that it was the voice of Christ calling (see number one). This worked beautifully for most of my life, (One author said, “Every time Mike picks up the phone you feel like he’s been waiting his whole life just to talk to you”—that’s how you feel when you really know it’s Christ on the line.) until I semi-retired and just about every time I picked up the phone it was a telemarketer who wouldn’t let go of my ear. That wore on my patience until I heard from a friend that my favorite spiritual teacher, Dr. Thomas Hora, had this telephone maxim, “Before you say hello, say I love you.” I don’t always say that to myself before I pick up the phone or before someone I am calling picks up his or her phone, nor do I always remember that it is the voice of Christ on the other end, but I am discovering still that both of these practices are beneficial habits that put me in my proper place.

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{ 8 comments }

claire July 8, 2011 at 8:48 am

What a wonderful way to start the day: Come here and read your blog!
Thank you.

Fran Rossi Szpylczyn July 8, 2011 at 10:35 am

As the secretary and office manager of a busy parish, I truly thank you for this. I am going to print it and hang it up by my desk.

Thank you!

Fran Rossi Szypylczyn July 8, 2011 at 11:46 am

Ok, now I am at work and rereading, as well as sending to my pastor and co-workers. This is so beautiful.

I love you!

Roxane B. Salonen July 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm

The line, “Those people are your work,” reminded me of my work as a mother. Sometimes, my kids annoy me, especially when I’m trying to think about something “more important.” It is those times when I’m challenged to remember that the job of raising them far outweighs most everything else that is in front of me. I love this post — such a great reminder of something that can be exceedingly difficult.

Anne Kertz Kernion July 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Mike, thank you for these very simple, but so meaningful reflections! My high school religion teacher gave me the same advice regarding interruptions in the work day, and it can transform (if I remember, of course!) a very busy, harried day into one filled with blessings. Thank you, dear friend, for your wisdom!

G

Laura July 9, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Love this post! I need this reminder every day. What a gift to read how it has really changed your life and attitude to put these simple practices into place.

Tom Smith July 14, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Good idea, Mike. Something I need to remember and do – only because it is true!

Mike July 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Nice to see you here, Tom.

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